In most of modern American society, grief is considered a normal but short-lived process of losing a loved one. Unfortunately, before now, little research has been done on how people grieve naturally, but Jane Ribbens McCarthy, a sociologist, and her team began investigating to change that.
The United States is a pragmatic country that wants an easy, standardized method of dealing with psychological problems and grief is no exception. However, the studies that McCarthy has conducted suggest that the typical interventions for grief do not fit everyone’s natural experience. She thinks that a family-oriented research approach is best suited for this topic.
Most families even the most loving have some conflicts and issues, and death can bring confusing and distressing feelings to the surface. For example, if a narcissistic family member died then many would feel a sense of relief after their death despite loving them and also grieving their death. This can bring about cognitive dissonance where they feel like they should feel bad about the death but don’t. Many patients can also grieve the relationship they never had with a narcissistic family member and feel envious of those who did get to have healthy and loving family relations.
McCarthy also found that especially in a healthy family system, death can change the whole dynamic of a household. This seems obvious to most people, but it is still important to investigate it scientifically. If a mother or father dies while the kids are still young, then someone else must step in to take the new role. This will often fall onto the oldest sibling which can cause them to grow up too fast. If a child dies it can turn a sibling into an only child.
Another problem that arises is how society thinks people should grieve. Many people suffer in ways deemed inappropriate. Some people do not cry or show outward emotion, some can distract themselves and appear happy. This can generate criticism that the grieving party did not actually care about the deceased when that is often far from the truth.
Grief is a complicated process, and there is no one size fits all approach. It is important to bring awareness of the different ways people grieve, and how there is not a set standard way to grieve. Hopefully, the public can understand how losing a particular family member can cause a rippling effect on the entire household and find support in dealing with these changes in a healthy way.
Recent Comments