News Our Way

A tale of two press conferences

 

WWE Clash at the Castle 2022 Press Conference

Fun! Let’s juxtapose.

Following AEW’s All Out event on Sunday, the company held a press conference in which its lead executive, Tony Khan, was joined by a number of performers. Speaking first was undisputed champion CM Punk, who appeared out of character for over 20 minutes, delivering his remarks to a confused and occasionally frightened group of reporters, several of whom he berated personally. Here is an abridged selection of Punk’s comments:

“When I finally had to countersue [fellow AEW wrestler and former friend Colt Cabana], through discovery we discovered he shared a bank account with his mother. That’s a fact. … The fact that I have to get up here and [admonish journalists] in 2022 is fucking embarrassing. And if y’all are at fault, fuck you! If you’re not, I apologize. But what did I ever do in this world to deserve an empty-headed fucking dumb fuck like ‘Hangman’ Adam Page to go out on national television and fucking go into business for himself — for what? What did I do? … I’m trying to run a fucking business. … [Cabana] shares a bank account with his mother, that tells you all you need to know about what kind of character that is. … I’m sorry if I’m a little fucking snippy, I’m hurt and I’m old and I’m fucking tired and I work with fucking children. This [baked good] is from Mindy’s Bakery, by the way. It’s a great place in Chicago. If you like pastries and baked goods, I suggest you go there. They’re closed on Mondays and Tuesdays, though. … [Internet gossip] really pisses me off. You’re stepping on your own dick. … I’m wearing Danhausen’s boots, this is a true story. … I’ve had a real problem with footwear, I’ve been trying to figure out, like, what to wear, and that’s real life. … Fuck Sidney Crosby. … Contrary to popular belief, I am a very nice guy. Thank you.”

 

CM PUNK SHOOTS ON COLT CABANA, ADAM PAGE, AEW EVPS & MORE—- AEW ALL OUT 2022 MEDIA SCRUM

Incredible.

%d bloggers like this: